Bruce Springsteen's Lessons on What Truly Matters in Life

Bruce Springsteen's music has always been more than just a collection of songs. It is a powerful tool for reflection, empathy, and understanding. In the documentary "Springsteen: Deliver Me from Nowhere," I was deeply moved by its ending, where a son comes to terms with his father's past and ultimately finds forgiveness. This experience resonated with me on a personal level, as it echoed my own journey of understanding and empathizing with my father.

Over the years, Springsteen has taught listeners how to reflect, gain empathy, and understand others. At the core of his work is the concept of social perspective-taking, which is the cognitive ability to understand another person's emotional state and the reasons behind their actions. This skill is crucial in building empathy and compassion, both personally and societally.

As an adolescent, I too had an emotionally distant father. While he wasn't abusive like Douglas Springsteen, he was emotionally unavailable and could never express love through words. Instead, he would offer a slight head nod and share a glass of buttermilk with me. Through Springsteen's music, I learned to see beyond these gestures and recognize them as forms of love, albeit unspoken.

A recurring theme in Springsteen's interviews is the purpose of his music: to create a space for reflection. He hopes that this reflection leads to greater compassion, empathy, and understanding. In a 2010 NBC interview, Springsteen emphasized that his music should be thought-provoking, helping individuals recognize themselves and the world around them. Similarly, in a 1984 Hot Press interview, he discussed how his song "Johnny 99" encouraged listeners to walk in someone else's shoes, highlighting the impact of social factors like unemployment on crime.

Springsteen helped me understand my father

Through his songs, Springsteen helped me understand my father's struggles. My father, a child of the World War II era, suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder. He often searched for potato peelings in garbage to help his mother make soup. For me, the songs "Adam Raised a Cain," "Factory," and "Independence Day" served as therapy, allowing me to process my feelings and understand the depth of his pain.

Two self-disclosures in Springsteen's "Live 1975-85" album were particularly impactful. The first appears in the middle of "Growin' Up," where Springsteen talks about the emotional distance between him and his father. I could relate to this experience. The second occurs before the live performance of "The River," where Springsteen shares how his father told him the Army would eventually make a man out of him. When Springsteen failed his draft medical exam due to a motorcycle accident, his father simply said, "Good." This moment showed how an authoritarian and emotionally distant father could still express love in his own way.

After repeatedly listening to these stories, I began to see my father in a new light. His head nods and buttermilk invitations became symbols of his love, even if they were not expressed in traditional ways.

Springsteen archive

Visit the Asbury Park Press archive of Bruce Springsteen's live and career

And Springsteen helped me process my mother's death

Springsteen's music also played a role in helping me cope with my mother's death. She was diagnosed with terminal cancer while I was in high school, and both my parents, as immigrants to Canada, struggled to deal with their emotions. They asked me to keep their situation a secret, and I did, but it left me angry and confused during my teenage years.

The songs "Darkness on the Edge of Town" and "The River" helped me process my fear and grief. However, the song that had the most profound impact on me was "Wreck on the Highway." This track follows a character who witnesses a car accident and later realizes the importance of relationships after learning that a loved one has died. The lyrics are deeply existential, prompting the character to reflect on what truly matters in life:

Sometimes I sit up in the darkness
And I watch my baby as she sleeps
Then I climb in bed and I hold her tight
I just lay there awake in the middle of the night
Thinking 'bout the wreck on the highway

For me, this song reinforced the importance of cherishing the people we love. Today, it reminds me of my wife of 34 years. In "Deliver Me from Nowhere," it is Bruce Springsteen’s father who learns to value relationships.

Rodney B. Dieser, Ph.D., LMHC, is the author of eight books and more than 100 articles on leisure and mental health. He is a professor of learning, leadership, and community at the University of Northern Iowa. He lives in Cedar Falls, Iowa, and can be contacted at Rodney.Dieser@uni.edu.