End the Double Standard: Stop Telling Women to Smile More at Work

Understanding the Impact of Everyday Bias on Women in the Workplace

As we celebrate Women's Equality Day, it's important to reflect not only on the progress made but also on the ongoing challenges women face in their daily lives—both at home and in professional settings. While social media platforms are filled with messages of recognition and support, the reality for many women is that they continue to encounter subtle biases that affect their careers and personal well-being.

In the workplace, these biases often manifest in unexpected ways. For instance, the way women speak, dress, or behave can influence how they are perceived and evaluated. These seemingly minor interactions can accumulate over time, affecting performance reviews, opportunities for advancement, and ultimately, their earnings. This contributes to the persistent gender pay gap that continues to widen.

The Pressure to Smile: A Hidden Barrier

One specific example of this bias is the expectation for women to smile constantly in professional environments. In my book, The Devil Emails at Midnight: What Good Leaders Can Learn From Bad Bosses, I share an experience with a former boss who would frequently tell me to smile. He would point to his mouth and gesture for me to smile, even when I was simply focused on my work. This pressure to maintain a constant positive expression left me feeling exhausted and inauthentic.

According to one study, 98% of women reported being told to smile at work during their careers, and 15% said this happened weekly or more. While smiling can be associated with happiness and approachability, it often becomes a gendered expectation. Marianne LaFrance, a professor at Yale University, notes that smiling is closely tied to femininity and a communal approach to life. However, this expectation places undue pressure on women to conform to societal norms, rather than focusing on their actual job performance.

Three Key Strategies for Leaders

On this Women's Equality Day, it's crucial for leaders to shift their focus from superficial indicators like smiling to more meaningful measures of success. Here are three strategies to help break the bias in the workplace:

1. Focus on Performance, Not Facial Expressions

Rather than evaluating employees based on their facial expressions, leaders should prioritize clear goals and metrics. Ensuring that all employees understand what is expected of them and how they will be assessed can create a fairer environment. Performance evaluations should be based on actual work outcomes, not on whether someone is smiling or not.

2. Recognize and Respect Emotional Expression

Emotional expression varies among individuals and is influenced by cultural background and personal experiences. Smiling does not always equate to happiness, and for some, it may even be a way to mask true feelings. It's important to respect how people express themselves without making assumptions about their emotional state or work ethic.

Research from the Harvard Business Review highlights that stereotypes about certain groups can hinder their professional growth. By acknowledging and respecting diverse forms of emotional expression, leaders can foster a more inclusive and supportive workplace.

3. Challenge the Idea That Smiling Is a Job Requirement

Leaders should ask themselves why certain expectations are placed on women in the workplace. For example, if a male employee is not smiling, is he receiving the same feedback? It's essential to challenge the notion that smiling is a necessary part of job performance. Instead, focus on how employees contribute to business results and drive success.

When considering feedback for promotions or performance reviews, leaders should pause and reflect on the underlying reasons for their expectations. If a woman is not smiling, does that impact her work? Or is it simply a reflection of her personality or comfort level?

By shifting the focus from appearance to performance, leaders can create a more equitable and empowering work environment. This not only benefits women but also promotes a culture of fairness and inclusivity for all employees.