The 'Always Sunny' Crew's Wild Business Ventures: From Great to Glorious Disasters

The Wild Business Ventures of Paddy’s Pub

Paddy’s Pub, a humble Irish bar located in South Philadelphia, has long been the backdrop for some of the most bizarre and unconventional business ideas ever conceived. While the bar itself is a successful establishment, it's the entrepreneurial antics of its staff that have captured the attention of fans and critics alike. Over the years, the gang at Paddy’s Pub has come up with a series of outlandish schemes, each more ridiculous than the last. Here are some of the most memorable ones.

Fight Milk: A Bodyguard's Secret Weapon

One of the most infamous creations from Paddy’s Pub is "Fight Milk," an alcoholic, dairy-based protein drink designed specifically for bodyguards. Created by Ronald McDonald and Charlie Kelly, this concoction includes organic ingredients like crow’s egg, whole milk, and vodka. It's said to be the unofficial drink of the UFC and was even featured on InsideHook. Despite its questionable ingredients, Kelly claims to drink it every morning to "fight like a crow." However, given that Kelly works as a janitor, not a bodyguard, the practicality of the drink remains in question.

Delaware Catfish and Runoff Crab: A Risky Catch

Frank Reynolds and Charlie Kelly have set their sights on the Delaware River catfish, despite the known toxicity of the area. They also fish for "runoff crab" during the 2008 recession. When asked about the potential dangers, Reynolds' daughter Deandra questioned the presence of sewage runoff, but Reynolds insists on cooking the catfish regularly and maintaining that the crabs are "sewage proof."

Door-to-Door Gasoline: A Fueling Fiasco

In a bid to capitalize on rising gas prices, the Paddy’s Pub crew devised a plan to buy gasoline in bulk, store it in the basement, and sell it later at a markup. After filling up at local pumps and siphoning cars, they faced little success due to one associate's comedic Foghorn Leghorn impression during sales pitches. The scheme took a dangerous turn when a van full of gasoline exploded in South Philadelphia, leaving the crew scrambling.

Milk Steak: A Philly Culinary Trend

Philadelphia's latest culinary trend is the milk steak — a steak boiled in milk and topped with jelly beans. Charlie Kelly recommends ordering it "boiled over hard" with a side of jelly beans. This unusual dish can be found at Guigino’s, paired with boxed wine in a can, making it a unique dining experience.

Tuxedoed Trash Pickup: A Classy Scabbing Scheme

During a trash workers' strike, three South Philadelphia men decided to take on union labor, but with a twist. They dressed in tuxedos and used a limousine for their trash pickup. Unfortunately, their efforts were met with resistance from union workers who surrounded the limo, sending a clear message to back off.

Rum Ham: A Beachside Delight

Frank Reynolds created a rum-infused Christmas ham to bypass alcohol bans on the beach. This delicacy, resembling "Wilson" from Cast Away, was eventually lost at sea but later recovered after a rescue by revelers.

Kitten Mittens: A Feline Footwear Innovation

Charlie Kelly designed "Kitten Mittens" to keep alley cats from disturbing his sleep. These cloth-based mittens allow cats to move silently but may cause them to slip on surfaces.

Chardee MacDennis: A Drinking Game Like No Other

Chardee MacDennis, a party game combining elements of Paddy’s Pub owners, is known for its chaotic rules and intense drinking. The game involves intravenous wine consumption and encourages cheating, leading to many losses among its creators.

Paddy’s Stress Ball: A Green Egg Dilemma

Frank Reynolds introduced a stress ball made from hard-boiled eggs dyed green. However, the prototype was still raw, resulting in a messy situation that led to the idea being shelved.

Boxed Wine in a Can: A Clever Sip

To sneak a drink before work, some South Philly residents devised a method involving boxed wine and Diet Coke. By chugging a Diet Coke and refilling the can with wine, they could appear to be drinking a soft drink while enjoying a sip of wine.

These wild ventures highlight the unpredictable and humorous nature of Paddy’s Pub's business endeavors, showcasing the creativity and determination of its staff, even if their ideas often fall flat.