Friends Lost Dream Jobs After Decades—Their Survival Advice

Laura Brown and Kristina O'Neill were at the peak of their careers. Both held prestigious positions as editors-in-chief, with Brown at Instyle and O'Neill at WSJ. Magazine. However, their paths took an unexpected turn when they both found themselves without jobs.

The term they prefer is "fired," rather than being part of a restructure, made redundant, or laid off. Brown, who was fired from Instyle via Zoom in 2022, described the experience as feeling like "an anvil that's smacked you on the head." She added, "And then you take another weight of shame [and] weird verbiage and construct some narrative for yourself that isn't even true, when everything [feels like] you're already three feet tall."

O'Neill, who was let go from WSJ in 2023, shared a similar sentiment. After meeting at a Marc Jacobs fashion show in 2001 and spending over two decades building their careers together, the two friends wrote about the challenges of losing their jobs within a year of each other in their new book, "All the Cool Girls Get Fired."

This book was written to fill a gap they felt during their own experiences. It covers topics such as severance, health insurance, and bouncing back in your career with "more professional mojo than ever." The book also includes personal essays from icons like Jamie Lee Curtis and Oprah, sharing their own firing stories.

The News PulseMake It spoke with Brown, who now runs her own company LB Media, and O'Neill, now the head of media at Sotheby's, about what they learned from getting fired and writing this book.

Why you shouldn't spend too much time alone after getting fired

Brown emphasized the importance of rest but warned against retreating into isolation. Spending too much time alone can lead to negative thoughts compounding, making the situation worse. She suggested having coffee with someone or having breakfast to stay connected.

O'Neill referred to this period as "The Scarlet F," where people often feel like they're walking into a room and everyone will stare at them. Talking about it helps, as does having a support network.

How to approach networking: 'Take no shame in asking for stuff'

Brown highlighted that networking is natural and should not be seen as aggressive. She compared it to "Johnny Appleseed-ing," where you're constantly planting seeds. People will respond if you've built good relationships.

She also stressed the importance of not feeling ashamed to ask for things, as everyone does. Understanding different ways to make money and being open to new opportunities can help in the process.

Disentangling your sense of self from your job

O'Neill noted that when people put all their identity into their careers, losing a job can be devastating. Engaging in simple activities like reading or going to Pilates can help maintain a sense of self.

Brown added that being fired can lead to a reevaluation of one's career and life choices, highlighting the importance of reflecting on whether a job truly aligns with one's values and comfort.

Getting fired as a boss

Brown was fired along with her entire team over Zoom. She encouraged others to focus on their own value and not let the company define them. She believed in taking ownership of one's skills and abilities.

O'Neill, who was the only one fired from her team, faced anxiety about her team's future. She emphasized the importance of closure, suggesting that even if a workplace doesn't throw a party, finding a way to say goodbye can help move forward.

How to deal with everyone telling you to look at a firing as an opportunity

Brown acknowledged that while many people might say being fired is the best thing that could happen, it can be frustrating. She suggested that friends can provide emotional support and keep social rhythms intact, which can lead to new opportunities.

The biggest lessons of writing a book about being fired

O'Neill highlighted the need for this conversation, noting that it took time to find women willing to share their stories. Their hope is that the book helps others understand the experience of being fired and how to come through it stronger.

Brown was moved by the feedback from readers, saying that it helped them feel less alone. Her goal is to reduce the shame associated with being fired and encourage a sense of empowerment.